Kitten RPG

Ok, maybe there should have been a comma between the title words...

Of course if I was really geeky I would post my Cat's d20 stats here...

I here you shaking in your boots, well fine I might spare you then. Well, this week I'm GMing (Game Mastering) a WoT (Wheel of Time) rpg (Role-Playing Game) session, my second (as in this is after my first time, sorry :p couldn't help myself), it should prove a challenge, but this time my lips won't feel like dried tomato's and my back won't hurt like Awen, so I should do better. Say that is an excuse, but GMing and dried lips aren't a good combo.

Enough griping!

Some of my adoring fans probably haven't seen my Cat, and 0ur two other's.

So here is some picts, mine is the one that looks like a raccoon :) his name is Merlin and he has tendencies to use high level Arcane magics (his favored spell is Kitten Charisma) when needed. Watch your back around this coon cat or he may have you serving him kitten treats (he loves them, even though the ones we have smell like heck, guess cats don't mind) all day long...

They have grown a lot since these picts, so I will post more when I can.

Anyway, I feel nerdy, (stop reading here if you are getting worried, you have very good reason to be) so here you go...

Name: Merlin The Wiz
Race: Magical Beast (Cat)
HD: d1, HP 17
Class: Wiz o' a Cat 14/Kitten Ninja 3
Saves: Will 1627, Fort 738, Reflex 456782
Attack Bonus: 50/45/40/35/30/20/15/10/5 (Rake, Claw, and Rend)
Reputation: -200
Defense: 5000
Stats: Strength 3, Dexterity 37, Wisdom 1782, Intelligence 3, Constitution 4, Charisma 3567289339487625367485939827265464783902498576352436745895039287263547849
Equipment: Collar/Bell.
Spells: 100/90/80/70/60/50/40/35/30/25/20: Kitten Charisma, Thunder Meow, Sonic Squeal, Fluffy Tail Slash of Earthen Glory, Keening Sound of Chaotic Madness, Purr of Persuasion.
Special Abilities:
Raccoon Polymorph (innate): Merlin always has the Spell "Polymorph (Raccoon)" cast on him to a degree. If he chooses he can enhance his Raccoon appearance to trick adventures as he lunges for their throats (everyone knows Raccoons are nice and are unsuspecting).
Frenzy Rake (EX N): If Merlin successfully attacks his enemy he can make 300 free attacks against them all at critical damage (x8) and each poisons (DC 500). No save is required by his victim.
This can be done as many times a round as needed to make his enemy fall.
Kitten Eyes (EX W): All Diplomacy/Bluff checks against humanoid creatures get a bonus of +6000, also any attack against Merlin must be roll a clean 20 on their d20 roll five times on a roll then make a Wisdom check (DC 100) then under go a Will Save (DC 400) if they succeed this then they do 1 point of damage and suffer 100d20 Charisma damage to their character worth.
This should destroy the attackers soul effectively.
Feline Martial Arts (EX N): Merlin can choose to use his Martial Arts skills and instantly drop anyone to the ground (I.E 0 hp) this is a free action and can be used every round 400 times.'
Tiger Lunge (EX N): If Merlin waits a full round he can jump 600' and make a free attack at max attack bonus against his enemy.
Tactics:
Merlin will usually be either hiding in dense shrub or is being gloomed by his servants.
If he is waiting in shrubs he will wait till the group of players get within 30' then ready for a lunge. He will then lunge at the player with the largest shoelaces and do all in his power to destroy the shoelace.
He only uses magical attacks if the shoelace delivers at least 2 points of damage to him.
Once the shoelace is destroyed he will retreat into shrubs or assorted cover and wait a round.
If the players approach the shrub he uses a Thunder Meow to scare them off (Will save DC 5000).
He repeats this till all the shoelaces are destroyed or the players come close, if the players provide further agitation he will lunge for their jugulars.
Remember the Merlin is a docile beast under normal conditions, merely provide your shoelaces or other stringy/bouncy objects to him as homage and he will relinquish his attack.
If you are dumb enough to face Merlin in battle wear earplugs to block his sound type attacks, and a neck guard for some protection from his lunge attacks at your vital throat organs.
His only weakness is water, if you manage to escape over a river or throw some at him he will retreat 30' then send a lv. 7 fireball to convert you into a pile of smoldering ash.
I told you not to attack him.
Closing Remarks:
All in all, Merlin is a good alley and a fierce enemy, treat him well and magical powers of near divine worth will be on your side, if you don't treat him well, prepare for brutal death mortal.